So Spring came round and Scotland had an early Summer in the shape  of the ever lovely Rachelle Summers. It was the end of April and a fairly nice day weather wise, which is good as I had planned to go on location seeing as we had always worked in the studio before. This would be our first location shoot together.

Early in the morning before the place got too busy we headed to the beach for some semi nude work in the surf, Rachelle jump right in and produced some stunning poses. I, on the other hand, was struggling with a lens that just didn’t seem to want to focus. However we still got some stunning shots.

 

The water was still freezing cold and after a short while…longer than I expected considering, Rachelle ran out, got dried and we headed back to the car for a warm drink and a snack. We then headed into the forest and spotted a large log pile, Rachelle said she had never posed against log ends…..this one was right on the main path but with a little wait we managed to get some shots without getting seen….I think.

 

We headed deeper into the forest to find a suitable spot….we found several!

 

In another spot, again right next to a main path, we used some soft colours.

 

And right round the corner was this little bridge and stream….

 

We headed out again, by this time we were quite a distance from the car but we spotted this old 2nd world war lookout shelter and made full use of its old window frame.

 

We headed back to the car for more hot drinks and snacks, we still had some time left so we headed back out onto the beach just as the sky was turning stormy and moody. A little splash of red to highlight a scene amidst the grim weather.

 

It rained so we headed back but I think we had a very successfully shoot….despite a dodgy lens. Of course its always a pleasure working with Rachelle, she’s good fun and chatty, highly energetic and full of life…at the same time very professional. This was actually our 6th shoot together and we have our 7th in November, highly recommended to anyone, beginners and experienced alike.

In April this year I had the opportunity to work with Ivory Flame again and this time I chose to work in the studio, for a number of reasons, one was I needed a portrait to hang in my staircase wall, also I wanted to work on some dark moody images specifically using one light and the most important reason was that the weather was stormy and really unpredictable. The Flame arrived late at night due to a baggage mix up at the airport but we had her room made up and after a quick cuppa headed to bed. In the morning we headed off to the studio and quickly got down to business…we put the kettle on. Then we took some images…

We brightened things up a bit and Holly took up the chair challenge to great effect.

I have to say its getting harder to think up new and interesting poses with the chair,  we moved on to different furniture…with some colour because its always seems a shame to turn that lovely colour of hair to B&W

Oh look a dark one has slipped in…how did that happen?!

At this point the kettle seemed to go on again and snacks appeared as if by magic!  The backdrop was changed however by bloody hard work. We did some portraits and this one is now hanging at the top of our stairs.

And now for even darker nudes…

And some colour…..

Playing about with material…

And now for something a little different….

And finally a little Saffron to end the shoot….

By which time we were starving and we scooted off to the Tayport Harbour Cafe for lunch, then headed out again to drop Holly off and meet Jim Furness. It’s always a pleasure working with Holly, even if she did take a sneaking picture of me posing, it’s never really work and the hardest thing is to try and figure out which of the fantastic images to choose from when you get home and start editing. Fabulous model without question.

PS…..so I was like…’a pose similar to this would be good….’..click! flash!, I turn to see Holly holding my camera with a big mischievous grin on her face. 🙂

.

Once upon a time in Scotland there was a hot sunny day in April…honest, its true!…the sun was out, the sea was blue and the sand was ..well, sandy and very sand like. On such a day I had a shoot with Stephanie Dubois at Tentsmuir, it was the first time we had worked together on location.  It was also the first time I put my new 70-200 mm f2.8 lens to use, as such I took a lot more images than normal with the risk of looking like a click monkey in Stephanie’s eyes, fortunately I had warned her first. More about the lens in future blogs, let’s bash on with some images of the lovely Stephanie.

Footsteps

 

 

 

Blue on the Beach

 

 

 

Flotsam

 

 

 

 

After a quick change into something sheer…..

 

then in the dunes…..

 

 

We had a slow wander about the beach for some interesting logs and mainly trying to stay away from the other beach dwellers….when a skuba diver popped up in the water, fortunately Stephanie was clothed but once he went away that changed.

 

 

Slightly toned B&W

 

All too soon it was time to go….a fun day out on the beach, Stephanie is great to work with and good company on a shoot. Highly recommended to all. Hopefully I will be working with her again in the future….which is more likely than having a sunny day in Scotland 😉

 

I had organized another studio day for St Andrews PS, this time Helen Stephens was the model of the day. It had only been 2 days before that I had worked with her at the old hospital but its always fun to work with Helen. After the members had taken their one hour slots I had a couple of hours at the end of the day. So I decided to be experimental, though some would just say mental.

And so we played about a bit….undercover

 

 

Then I had an idea for a blindfold…..this is called ‘The Seer’

 

More playing about……

 

Then we found a bag of props in the studio with an old fashion lace dressing gown type thing.

 

So I decided to get a bit more experimental with some red velvet…burlesque style.

 

and a little cabaret style shot.

 

 

All too soon time was up though and play time was over. Another enjoyable shoot had by all members of the club, including myself. Helen worked her socks off, always a pleasure to work with and highly recommended to any photographer…just hide your Chocolate 😉

 

Once upon a time, perhaps very long ago or perhaps just now, there lived a girl who had lost her mind and eventually her life. Her mind was so lost she did not notice that she had actually died, her body was a distant delusion  and as such had become entwined with her other delusions. She did not mind death, it was a passing phase that did not much register. Instead of dwelling in her body she now spent much of her spirit time in the attic and dusty lofts of the Asylum. In here she could escape from the screams and rambles of the inmates throughout the ages, her mind still twisted and writhed like serpents in a basket. Some scenes in her head would show her activities during her child years, these were horrid and repulsive, scenes of child cruelty and subtle manipulation. The twists of reality were bent out of shape until she could no longer tell what was real or illusion. And so she dwelt in the attic, there the snakes would uncoil for a while in the peace and quiet.

 

She had not noticed over the years that the screaming had stopped and that all was still in the vast labyrinth of the Asylum. The corridors and the locked rooms were vacant now and only the wind whistled through from broken windows. Offices and treatment rooms were abandoned and filthy, roofs now leaked and the plaster and paint were pealing off the walls.

The quiet solitude and time had had an affect, the snakes in her head were gone at last and although reality was not within her grasp she could at least see a little more clearly. What could not be achieved in her lifetime could be in her lifeless existence, time had healed and the horrors of her minds eye were manageable . And now she wondered about herself, she became aware that she was lost.

 

Now she needed to find her way forward out of this maze, she needed to find the light, the pathway out of this limbo. With a fearful start she began to search the empty corridors, the rooms that held despair and darkness, and the treatment rooms that in the past would torture and shock.

 

She needed to find the right light, the light from above and not the sunlight…the light from the window would not do, only heaven’s light would give her release.

And so the lost soul continued her journey of redemption through the twists and turns of the endless rooms and passageways. Fear and disgust would well up as she remembered fragments of her past when she flitted through some of the areas of the dark hospital. Her mind would reel and on occasion she would have to rest in the dim corners until her wild thoughts settled down into a calm slumber. How many days or years she searched she could not tell, day and night had no meaning and time slipped along at an unknown pace. At times she longed for her quiet attic, the safe solitude and comfort which had sustained her, but she knew there was no going back. To return was to slide back to a different kind of madness, one of loneliness and regret that would fester and grow. Therefore she carried on in trepidation and fear, each corridor and room looking exactly the same as the last.

 

Until one day………

 

She came across a different light, a light from within the building. She followed the light through winding stairs and cold corridors. And from the bottom of a staircase she saw the way……

At last she had found it but she also found it too bright, she was not ready yet, her ravished mind would still not let her go. The complexity of her mental condition even after death stood in her way, her mind needed to be clear and committed and that was something that she just wasn’t prepared for. The light just within reach yet still unattainable was itself mental torture, but at the same time knowing that it was there brought a certain strange comfort. And there on the stairway she spent time bathed in the light, knowing that one day she would step through.

 

Some of the days were dark of mind and others were inspirational, her mind was beaten and the light subdued her thoughts and filled those dark places within. It was only when she surrendered herself completely to the light that she found the courage and will to continue her Journey.

 

 

 

And as she stepped forward with a quiet peaceful heart the light consumed her forever, free from nightmares of the mind and the horrors of endless mental suffering. A lost soul no longer lost.

 

Images and Story by John McNairn
Model is Helen Stephens
Lighting by Alan Robertson
Videography by Michal Zagorski

In late Nov 2014 I got a message from Stephanie saying she was coming up to Scotland and staying with Chrissie, so we organized a shoot in the studio as the weather was decidedly unpredictable. I had one or two ideas and one old one that involved a big plastic sheet and some chains. Anyways I asked Chrissie to come down to help as I needed a chain puller at the end of the shoot, during the shoot she revelled in heat of the studio, mainly because her heating had broken in her flat…I’m sure she fell asleep while Stephanie and I were shooting but that can’t be proved. So of we go, starting with nudes of the lovely Stephanie..

 

The next image is taken taken from another nude but I preferred it as a portrait.

 

 

Next is the old favourite…the auld chair!!

Then a few more sedate and subtle shots….

 

 

 

And now to wake up Chrissie and do the plastic sheet and chains section, firstly just the plastic on its own….which we fashioned into a dress.

 

We then cut it down a bit, with almost an instance with sharp  scissors in the vein of ‘Photographer stabs Model during shoot’ .. a scary moment!

 

More chains needed!!

 

 

Actually we ran out of time to fully explore the plastic sheet idea but we did learn a lot out of getting it to work, I think there’s more mileage to be had out of the sheeting. Tune in to later blogs to find out!

Stephanie had to dash of to her next shoot in Glasgow, a very busy girl and I can see why. Without a doubt a versatile class model with tons of enthusiasm and  experience, highly recommended to anyone and everyone.

On the way back to dropping off Chrisse we had lunch at the Antiques Center at Inchture, yum yum…a fun day…shoots, banter and good company.

To understand this blog fully it is advisable to read the pictorial storyboard called Addiction and Dependency, you can find it here at http://www.mrspider.co.uk/?p=1146.

Stories and songs, where do they come from? well I don’t really know but Eastern cultures will tell you the Void, the core of creativity. All I know is that for decades now stories and songs have appeared in my head, mostly in the waking hours of the morning. Songs were simpler in a way as the music was easier to create and make solid then bring into reality. Stories not so easy, my command of the written word is woefully poor, as is my singing voice. However whilst I can write songs I have the leisure of getting someone else to sing them, not so with stories, in there I lack the control of story writing, I can grasp the sword but I cannot make it fight. And so I use whatever means I can to get the story across for stories must be told, they demand it with a fiery passion and a relentless pressure.

Therefore when it came to my biggest shoot of the year I had a story in mind, a story of lust and reliance, escapism and reality, sex and money….but more importantly it was about the reality of dependency and the craving of addiction. And who better to act out this story than Chrissie Red and Artemis Fauna. I gave the girls a brief outline of the idea but not very much, I suspected that to make the story look real then it was important for them to go with the flow of the moment, let the nuances of the story unfold itself during the shoot. It was only when I picked them up at Chrissie’s flat that I told them the whole story and described in some detail what was to be done. Both of them needed to play their characters without over thinking it. This is how I felt anyway and I think I was correct because the story did indeed unfold almost exactly as I hoped for, it was definitely a team effort. Chrissie plays the part of Sue Linn and Artemis plays Penny.

Anyway, we started off with the end…as you do, the farewell shot.

The loss of a farewell and the promise of a return.

The story needed a strong submission element to it, it needed to show the absolute reliance and dependency required to keep both of them alive, The submission of Penny is symbolized in the use of light bondage, the story needed the element of restrained freedom in a very visual way. And the double edge sword of reliance and fantasy as Penny tries to gleam some sort of escapism from the life giving shackledom of the drugs. At the same time the story needed to show the grittiness of the need for money and the basic human survival that comes with the use of money. All very fantastical yet in a way very very real. So I decided to shoot the whole thing in a comic book kind of style, dark, grainy and moody…Sin City style.

The furtive approach of Penny….

 

The grubbiness of ‘cash in hand’

 

 

I’m not going to republish all the images here or re tell the story but needless to say the characters were brilliantly played by Chrissie and Artemis. Once we got going and everyone got into the story it all seemed to come alive for me. Behind the scenes Chrissie was worried about using the knife so close to Artemis as it was very sharp, these girls are great friends so her concern was genuine. However simple adjustments meant we could get the shots we were after safely. the other problems were getting both models lit properly in the studio. The technical aspects of lighting were quite tricky as the whole scene was important and not just one model, lighting tended to be a bit more critical than normal. Each scene had to be checked on the laptop to see if it was correct before moving on to the next, this was the most precise shoot I had ever done and if one scene was incorrect then the whole story would fail. In fact we nearly missed out one crucial scene altogether!

Pill and Knife

 

Then just as I get the lighting correct on the floor scenes we do oil and water! and everything needs to be readjusted accordingly to avoid over heavy reflections on the skin.

And of course the ‘preparing to leave’ scene, this was easier than I expected to shoot, no flash was used and because all the scenes were grained I didn’t have to worry to much about high ISO noise so I used natural light in the studio.

In conclusion this was quite a different shoot for me, one in which the story was more important than camera club or ‘acceptable’ technical standards. In fact those type of technical standards weren’t even considered, this shoot was a Blues rather than a Symphony, it was about feeling and emotion rather than precision. And in its creation I used some eyebrow raising elements, for which I am not ashamed nor apologise for, it was outwith my normal mode of photography but I will use whatever is necessary to be creative. Indeed this shoot brought some interesting reactions when published and whilst I do not intend to pursue the genre of erotica or fetish I will not hesitate to dip into it again if the need arises. Meanwhile I will return to Art Nude as my preferred choice.

Also a lot of praise must go to Chrissie and Artemis for their understanding and willingness to do something different, true professionals both. Without whom this story would not have had the same dramatic content.

 

In September this year I saw a welcome return of Helen Stephens to Scotland, we had a good shoot together last time and I didn’t hesitate to book her again. So back to the studio we went with Chrissie Red to give a hand with props and…..a make up artist, not just any MUA but my friend and family Jillian Crabb. So we started of with some shots of Jillian’s amazing artistry.

 

 

Then we did some moody dark nude shots…..

 

 

Then we did some experimenting with costumes and chains…..all ably assisted by Jillian and Chrissie……expert chain and staff holder uppers.

 

After all that we headed out to lunch where we probably scared the locals with talk of nudity and inappropriate things….which was fun!

Another grand day out, nice to see Helen again….fab model and  all round lovely person. Also good to witness Jillian doing her artistry….first time for me, she did a fantastic job, loved the look she gave Helen…..and the little flower on Chrissie.

http://jillian-elizabeth.co.uk/

http://www.helenstephens.co.uk/

So at the height of the Scottish summer….yes there is one sometimes….rare but it does happen, Lulu Lockhart returned to the area. The last shoot we did was a one hour slot at a studio day so the is time I had a full 4 hours to experiment with lights and throw her into the sea afterwards.

Some studio shots first..

 

Improv with some material….still playing with lights too

 

Yay!!!……beach time!…such a lovely beach with no passers-by. Honest it wasn’t that cold, the ice didn’t form up for at least 10 minutes!

 

Go on Lulu, get right in there and get that hair wet…..see its not that cold after all, besides I can photoshop the blue bits out.

 

 

 

And finally a landscape to show off the sand….

 

 

 

I suggested we come back in January when it’s proper cold 😉

And after all that I fleeced Lulu out of a pound coin cuz I am evil like that! I was short of pound coins for the car park meter thing, though I’ll make it up to her the next time. It was a grand day out and Lulu is an excellent model, highly recommended to anyone. She is good company and we talked about all sorts and had a good laugh as we trudged thru the sand to get to the deserted bits of the beach.

 

Penny moves through the abandoned buildings near the seedier side of town until she gets to her intended destination, a small building tucked away from the main street. The early morning sun is weak and casts a limp shadow that seems to struggle to waken to the dawn light. The wooden entrance is hidden mostly from view but even still she can’t help but look around before entering the building, the trepidation of what is to come starts early this time and her hand almost trembles on the door handle.

 

She comes regularly to the door, always early before anyone is up and about to see. The visits are hard to resist, each time she comes here its a new adventure and often more daring that the last but that’s why she comes and besides she can afford it. The services provided by the occupant are not cheap but they are exquisite in their escapism and she cannot refuse her addiction, it gives her a release and a thrill that is intoxicating. Armed with cash she holds her breath as she approaches Sue Linn, the charisma of Sue fills the room like a drug filled aroma, she could almost breathe it in.

Sue sits waiting for Penny knowing that as usual this would be a bitter sweet appointment. Penny had phoned yesterday asking for her usual early slot, Sue did not refuse but instead welcomed it. Of all the guests that were welcomed here Penny was the only one that she had any real feelings for, more than friendship or any other simplistic bonding, Sue was infatuated by Penny yet she knew that her sentiments were not returned. To Penny this was a pleasant business arrangement but to Sue this was so much more. Yes she needed the money and if she could do without it and have Penny forever then she would.

 

Sue Linn was good, very good and she knew exactly what Penny craved for, and again she would provide it with pleasure. She would gave uncertainty and danger, she took away control and safety, hurling her partner into a sense of heightened anticipation. Slowly and invitingly to start with before gradually taking control.

Once the invitation is accepted Sue gradually takes control…..

 

….and Penny surrenders.

Sue prepares for the next phase, she understands Penny’s needs, it’s in the thrill of the danger, of giving over to the unknown and being unable and unwilling to prevent whatever happens next. For Penny the release of yielding over to someone else is exciting and the thrill of not knowing what is to come causes her to quicken her breath, the unseen future and the unpredictability of Sue’s inflictions. Penny’s excitement courses through her yet has a stupefying affect, it renders her compliant and wanton.

Sue applies some necessary steps……

 

Penny feels the needle puncture the skin, forceful and deliberate, like an unwanted lover. The sting is all she concentrates on, she relishes the sensation, a small compensation for the intrusion of its liquid content. The needle slides its full length into her flesh and the plunger pushes out the hated but life enhancing drug, the pain aids her in fending off the revulsion she feels for the situation, she can cope if she lets the pain envelop her…..this addiction and foreign invasion of her person.

Sue knows that Penny is lost, caught up in her escape and now is the time to heighten the thrill, increase the perceived danger and push her to the limits.

 

For some fear and perilous vulnerability…

 

Penny can feel the knife’s edge dig into her flesh just under her breast, enough to cut but not enough to draw blood, Sue slides the knife along as it’s scores the skin. Penny dares not move, but with disbelief and anticipation she sees Sue lower the knife’s aim….

 

Penny gasps with panic and excitement, her ragged breath causes her to feel faint and her body goes limp in her bonds.

 

At this point the reader is left to imagine what happens next…..

However a little later, things return to more tender and intimate moments….a little water on the oil to smooth and cool.

 

Sue revels in the caresses and feel of Penny in her arms, just the smell and warm of her sends Sue into a state of complete happiness, if only it would last…this compulsion and need for Penny feeds her infatuation, it haunts her at night and invades her dreams.

For Sue this is her time, a chance to play and embrace…..to imagine it would last beyond these four walls…..

 

But sadly time runs out all too soon for Sue and Penny, this small escape from the injustices and aches of reality must come to an end, at least for a while. The morning has worn on and the world has already awoken, play must stop and give way to the dreary drag of work and normal life….both do not want it to stop, they have yielded to their own private addictions and demons. The afterglow will only endure for a short time, after that the bitterness and self loathing will conquer until the next time.

 

For Sue letting go is difficult when it comes to Penny, there is never enough time. Her addiction is more subtle than Penny’s for her addiction is Penny.

 

Penny is practical now, her addiction sated by her need for danger and unpredictable excitement, the lust for unexpected pain and the familiar needle. The drugs are not the addiction, that is a constant dependency that only comes from in Sue Linn. And while Sue’s addiction is Penny, her dependency comes from Penny’s.

And as Penny leaves with the promise of a return visit, Sue whispers to herself …. Goodbye my Love.

================================================================

Addiction and Dependency – Written and Photographed by John McNairn

Modelled and acted by Artemis Fauna and Chrissie Red