The Change

 

Phillip is not a happy man, for most of his life he has been at odds with himself, even growing up at a young age he was never really comfortable with life in general. Nothing seemed to fit like they did for other people, everyone seemed to be comfortable within themselves and went about their business in a normal fashion. For Philip he drifted through life unsatisfied with anything, he felt wrong, like he was living through someone else’s life, he was living a lie. Or that he was a living lie.

 

His only anchor and shining star in his life was Donna, he loved her completely with his very fibre of being, everything else was gray and lifeless. Donna was the sole reason he kept on with his dull mixed up life, he found her absolutely wonderful and very much a light in his darkness.

Donna brings Philip a whisky….

She put up with his mood swings and long periods of silence and depression, those times when he just couldn’t communicate his feelings in a comprehensive manner, and like most males he would retreat within himself until the feeling passed, and always Donna would be there waiting for him. Before he met her he had drifted from town to town and job to job finding it very hard to settle anywhere, always seemed to be searching for something. Something, just something that would make sense, something that would make him understand himself.
Gradually things got worse, he could hide so much anguish from Donna but deep inside he was breaking apart.

 

These last days he had come to realise that something must give, he looked at other people in his life, their life and daily routines. How they interacted with the world and how they coped. He had come to accept that we were all broken once, like porcelain statues ….chipped at the edges and cracks everywhere. It’s just life, the knocks and bumps from just living can knock the shine and crack the gloss from our porcelain existence. Sometimes we lose limbs or even our head but eventually we glue ourselves back together, though its never the same as before. We break, we chip, we crack and we all carry on as best we can but we are all broken. Philip wasn’t just about to break again, he is on the verge of crumbling away.

 

 

Donna senses a deep sadness within her lover and tries to distract him in the best way she knows how……

 

 

Donna notices that Philip needs a shave, Philip feels that as a rejection but lets Donna shave his chin.

 

Donna resumes her amorous intentions, Philip responds in kind……

 

 

Donna slips out of her dress and moves to the next room expecting Philip to follow her. However Philip is disturbed to the core, the shaving incident was the last straw.

 

 

Donna’s seduction has left him envious of her beauty and sensuality but equally the shaving had left him repulsed by his own body, he now knew what needed to be done but it was a gamble. He had to risk losing the only thing in his life that had any meaning to him, Donna.

The fear welled up inside of him, could he do it? Despite the fear Philip rolled the dice of life, he gambled……he changed!

 

 

Phillipa disrobes from the male garb of her previous life, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. She has looks at her body and feels the new sensations that it brings.

 

 

She slowly brings herself to look in the mirror, she inspects herself for a long time, with every touch and sensation she feels more complete and whole than she had ever done as a man.

 

 

Phillipa has spent too long looking in the mirror, she hears Donna return to the sofa, obviously wondering where her lover went. This is it, it all comes down to this, she has risked everything for this moment. She attempts to add some makeup but its a disaster because its the first time she’s tried……

 

 

She wipes it all off. She’s going to have to face Donna just as she is, a different shell but the same love.

 

 

Phillipa steals a dress and top from Donna’s stash and dresses as best she can.

Meanwhile Donna returns to the sofa wondering where her lover went, she sits and waits until her patience nearly runs out..

 

 

Sadness fills Donna’s heart, she has always managed to lift Philips spirits before but this time the despair seemed so much more profound

Phillipa walks to the sofa…….

 

 

Donna stares in astonishment but says nothing. Phillipa is fearful that Donna will walk away and that love will be gone forever. Donna is speechless as she inspects Phillipa in quiet expressionless contemplation

Donna  lifts the dress to see if the change is total…..

 

 

Donna, filled with confusion and emotional turmoil, disrobes Phillipa.

 

 

Donna walks away…but turns and pulls Phillipa to follow her.

 

 

Donna says nothing but sits Phillipa down in front of the mirror, and with loving care Donna applies some makeup to Phillipa, both are too lost in the moment to speak.

 

 

When finished Donna pulls Phillipa into a hug, but Phillipa is still unsure, is it a friends hug or sisterly hug or a lovers hug? This new body with its new sensation is almost overwhelming and on top of that her heart aches for confirmation of Donna’s continued love.

Donna leads Phillipa back to the sofa, she realises that this new woman knows nothing about the finer details of being female.

Donna shows Phillipa how to put on stockings and dress, and in doing so becomes increasingly used to the idea of the change.

 

Donna lounges on the sofa but Phillipa is still unsure of Donna’s feelings, however Donna makes it abundantly clear that the change is welcome and she pulls Phillipa down on top of her.

 

 

Phillip is not a happy man, but Phillipa is whole again. We are all broken but we can still fill our lives with love and live it to the full as best we can, though sometimes we need to change.

 

Philip/Phillipa played be Helen Stephens

Donna played by Donna Jackson

Concept and Photography by John McNairn

 

One day on Purple Spurt I saw an unusual casting from Cheryl Elizabeth, she said she was happy to bus it up to Scotland overnight then do a shoot and bus it back home again. To be honest I couldn’t think of a worse thing to do but then I’m not keen on buses. It so happened that I had a my eye on a several locations up near Inverness way that I always wanted to do but it was impractical due to driving distances. However I thought that I could meet Cheryl up at Inverness and visit the locations on the way back to Dundee, I could combine some work the previous day, stay overnight, meet Cheryl then shoot….it seemed like a plan!

So we organised it for early September, and come the day before the shoot I travelled up, did a bit of work, stayed overnight at the Kingsmill Hotel…….which was horredously expensive and I got food poisoning there. Off to a fine start!

The next day it was wet and rather gray in the typical Scottish shitty weather kinda way, it rained and rained then at the last hour before picking up Cheryl it stopped and promised to clear up a bit. I wasn’t picking Cheryl up til 11:30 which meant that it was going to be a bit of rushed shoot but I knew I’d get at least two of the locations done and that was the main thing.

I did promised to meet Cheryl at the bus station in a pink onesie but I have to say I declined to follow through on that one! I’m sure she was very disappointed about that when I met her 😉

Anyways we met up, loaded up the car and headed off to Tescos for munchables and water, then scooted of to the first location. Now normally the road to the Loch Ruthven is quite picturesque but today it was completely shrouded in cloud, the mountains and cliff faces had completely disappeared. And as this was Cheryl’s first trip to Scotland I gave her a loan of a camera and landscape lens so she could take shots as well, because we all know the scenery is stunning, erm except today. On the way the clouds started to lift a little over the lochs and the views were getting a little mysterious, and as if by magic when we got to the first location the scene was perfect.

 

But the main reason for this location is that the loch had small sandy beaches and…boats…

The other bonus was that it was warm….so we headed off to the other side of the loch to another little boat house and boat.

Then just round the corner was another little sandy beach…

Now  Loch Ruthven is a bird sanctuary and has a bird hide which is normally quiet on occasions, due to the weather and the time of day I reckoned it would be fairly devoid of people. Except that it wasn’t and poor Cheryl got caught by passersby, however they were quite open minded and shouted compliments. I thought there’s bound to be more people coming, perhaps now is a good time to scuttle off to the next location….

So we jump in the car and zoom off to Suidhe Viewpoint, by the time we got there the clouds had lifted and the air was very still. If was a little bit a of hill climb, a gentle slope and well worn path…..a path from which we would deviant for privacy reasons and for scenic views.

It’s not long before the path levels out into a rugged plateau, which is handy but also a tad boggy.

Moving onto other rocks and scenes….with lots of ‘poky bum sticks’ as Cheryl called them. In other words last years heather stalks..lol

More scenes with rocks…and poky bum sticks….

Moving on to a cliff edge…….

Nearly at the end of the path we came across two wild stags grazing just below us….we stopped to take some pictures.

 

At the end of the path we had to rush a little as time was marching on and so were some people heading our way….but we managed to bag some images at the summit.

With time marching we had to rush back down to the car and drive all of 5 minutes to the nearest loch for the next location which was slightly tricky to get to once we were out of the car.

By this time it really was time to get going, besides, we were getting eaten alive by super angry midges!…..before we left I managed to get this portrait which I softened to match the sunlight.

 

There was now a 3 hour drive back home as Cheryl had to get the 20:30 bus back home from Dundee. but it gave us a huge operchancity to have in depth conversations and get to know each other. The car drive home was a bit of a marathon but I had some great company and I have to say…..what a lovely person Cheryl is, just one of the nicest persons you’d ever want to meet. Apart from getting stonkingly good images I had a fabulous time with a fabulous person, what more could you ask from an adventure in the Highlands. Hopefully more adventures at another time 🙂

 

So today I’m ironing lace things and feminine clothes for a shoot tomorrow, whilst thinking if someone had told me 15 years ago I’d be taking pictures of nude and scantly clad women I’d have thought them to be bonkers…funny how life turns out. On the other hand I now appreciate clothes a lot more but view them in a different light than what the fashion designers intended. Second hand shops are gold mines.

However there’s a bit more to it than that, I’ve learnt so much more about various aspects of art nude photography that I never appreciated before, and I dont mean camera stuff as such. From my first nude shoot with Chrissie many years ago I learnt that sometimes ideas go wrong and you need to adapt and improvise, also shooting nudes is fun and creative, it is not scary, sexual or sleazy in the slightest. Also it’s quite difficult to do well and very technically challenging to get it right in the camera.

 

So when honing my skill set over the years I’ve become used to looking at things differently, sometimes its how clothes are worn or not quite worn, other times its how we interact with each other, and mostly how to capture that. And on locations its about how to deal with the unexpected and improvising when situations change. How to make use of the available light and how to shoot quickly and efficiently when speed is required.

Yet all through this there are subtle things you learn, like how to communicate effectively with the model or team without causing offence in delicate situations, how to get the shots you need without being crass, bullish and insensitive. It’s the social aspect that develops along the way, talking with respect and acting with respect. Plus and maybe more importantly being honest and truthful when dealing with the team, valuing their input and listening to their opinions and acting on them when necessary.

I also learnt from nearly the word go that some people just will not understand this genre of photography, either their outlook on life or their upbringing will just not allow them to accept that art nude is a proper genre worthy of respect. And in this I respect their outlook and although they may not respect mine I never try to justify the way I take images to anyone. It’s one of those aspects of life that has to be experienced before understanding dawns over the horizon.

Now I see colours and shapes differently, and that is always something that I took no real notice of in the past. How a model’s pose in the environment can create an interesting look or in fact ruin it, not everything works and it takes time to recognise that. I also now understand the dynamics between art nude and erotica, though I suspect that there’s lot more to learn there. What makes something sensual or not? when you begin its difficult to discern but just by taking pictures you start to see the subtle differences between the different levels of sensuality. This comes about naturally and is understood through experience.

The other thing is how the light plays across the body and where it shouldn’t and should be in order to get the best image, or should I say, the image I want people to see. To be free to be experimental and understand that some things fail to work properly, adapt and change, learn and experience. And I know its ok to come away from a shoot with very few good images but its also important to understand why I did so.

So many things learnt and so many still to learn, I often wonder when I’ll feel like a grown up! at the moment I’m still a kid in a toy store poking and touch things, making a noise and generally being a pest. Telling people what being an art nude photographer is like is a bit strange because basically we get ourselves in some bizarre situations that no-one really believes. Yet to myself, models and others in the genre it’s all so very normal and everyday. Aren’t people strange or is it just me!?

Anyway, back to ironing some frilly things!

 

 

Hurrah Summer time is on usual form during my summer shoot with Rachelle Summers and the rain pissed down big time in good style. Rachelle Summers and I have done loads of studio stuff due to various past circumstances, and we’ve been determined to do more location shoots. The last time we did a beach shoot one of my lenses failed to focus properly and most of the images were slightly soft due back focusing, fortunately we got lots of forest shots that time so it worked out great. So I was looking forward to re-doing the same type of shoot but with a working lens. Sadly the weather was awful and I didn’t book the studio as a backup as I kept hoping it would clear up. So anyways I picked her up at the station and headed straight for Costa for coffee and cake, and we sat there for a while watching the rain pour down. After a while we decided to head out to the beach anyway just to see what we could get. By the time we got there the rain had stopped but the sky and sea were shrouded in a dull low cloud funk. However we trooped on and got some rather good shots in the end, we didn’t change themes much as we were running out of time due to waiting for the weather to clear.

We walked on a bit towards some debris in the distance, when we got closer it turned out to be some very sturdy tree trunks, so we took advantage as you do….

 

Sadly by the time we got round to this the rain started to come back on and we had almost ran out of time anyway, which was a shame because there was much more debris that could have been used but such is life. I think we got some pretty cool shots considering the circumstances and working with Rachelle is always a pleasure, Hopefully more shoots next year 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

So earlier this year Veronica Wotton asked if we could do a joint shoot with Stephanie Dubois and of course I agreed instantly, as you do…..only then I found out that I would have to model with Stephanie as Vron wanted to do some Jack Vettriano inspired ideas. Anyways I agreed to it and besides its always fun working with Stephanie. As the shoot day drew closer I realised I needed braces to complete the costume, this turned out to be a bit of a nightmare as I felt they were crucial to the feel of the shoot. I looked online but it was hard to choose without seeing them…..the high St shops were very expensive for them, I was running out of time however at the eleventh hour I found them in Tescos cheap as chips! ain’t life funny!

Anyway on the day of the shoot we headed out with a picnic and costumes to Tentsmuir beach, this was an all day shoot and the afternoon had the promise of a storm to come. The morning though was dusted by small fluffy clouds. The idea was that Vron would shoot Stephanie and myself and I would click a remote trigger for my camera on a tripod, sadly the remote’s signal didn’t reach far enough and Vron had to be my human remote trigger and press the button on the camera when I shouted. In the end it worked out quite well. Though I didn’t really know where I was in the frame….so a little editing was needed to get the compositions right, I also gave the images a painterly effect….and dare I say it….it used pure white. Blasphemy and Outrage!!

 

Location shoots can often be an adventure and opportunities can crop up, and this one proved to be no different. Vron accosted a horse rider walking with her horse and Vron got some excellent shots of Stephanie with the horse, I didn’t take much of the horse because I was at the wrong angle and it was very much Vron’s idea. However they looked fab on the back of the camera.

After a break for lunch and well earned cake we carried on and Stephanie made a lovely floral head piece whilst Vron and I lounged in the sand with full tummies. A quick outfit change and a wee splash about in the sea…

By now the promised Storm was starting to head our way, so we changed tack and took advantage of the clouds…

Things were getting a bit stormy now, the wind picked up and the light was fading fast, although it was still warm the temp dropped a bit..

By this time the clouds were disappearing into a horrible blanket of greyness and the rain looked like it wasn’t far behind. So we called it a day and managed to get one last scene before leaving Tentsmuir. On the way out Vron parked her Figaro in a wooded lane and we bagged a lovely shot of Stephanie in a 1920s style dress. We were accosted by a ranger who asked us if we were in trouble but left once we explained what we were doing.

 

By the time we took the final shot the rain started and it pelted down in a grey fug all the way home, so it looks like we definitely made the most of the day. All in all a fun day out with laughs and dancing and paddling about in the sea. And of course Stephanie was lovely to work with and made shooting every scene effortless. There are still some images left to edit as it was a very productive day. Hopefully maybe more Summer adventures next year.

PS. The next time I model I’ll need to lose some weight, damn this middle age spread malarky!!

Well in July I got another chance to work with Tillie, it had been a while since we worked together last and being the Summer I booked the studio, well only for a couple of hours. The weather this July was very unpredictable, even more so than usual. I picked Tillie up at the Malmaison Hotel where she was staying with her new hubby. We headed off to the studio, stopping of for snacks on the way….as you do. Tillie picked healthy stuff and of course I picked all the junk food. The kettle went on, then the lights and then…..

Flash bang wallop!! and off we went with a whiz bang!

Some straight art nude shapes to start with….

 

Then I had this idea to create a cloud scene as if Tillie was making or weaving clouds.

Then onto some studio lighting techniques for some textures and creative shots

After a quick snack we headed down to the beach to dabble about in the sand and surf at Tentsmuir…such a fabulous beach for model shots….and empty!!

I gave most of the beach shots a painterly touch, just for something different..

Such a great day…we had a laugh and a bit a chuckle on the beach before having to hand Tillie over to her next photographers, Brain Martin and Derek Noble. Amazingly I remembered to put sun tan lotion on my head…hurrah I didn’t get burnt!

Anyways, another grand day out and adventure, it was good to work with Tillie again. It had been a while and I think our schedules didn’t match up for a while, however we got there in the end. Tillie is a fab model and is highly recommended to anyone, always fun and easy to work with, quick to laugh and good company too.

Well it’s July in Scotland and Ivory Flame toured round Scotland, so we hooked up and did a couple of shoots, a small one on the Friday morning in the woods then a studio day for the camera club on the Saturday. Well the Friday started off rainy so I was kinda resigned to just hanging out drinking tea and snacking on bad things, however it started to brighten up so we headed out to the place I found in the middle of the forest at Lairds Loch. It was such a magical location, a small clearing in the middle of the forest with moss covered dead trees and enough sunlight to make it look like a very mystical location that had existed for centuries. So we parked the car and head up to the woods past the loch only to find that the forestry commission had knocked the trees down and ploughed through the entire area. Such a sad scene, however we did what we could and still got some special shots

This was a tree that had fallen into the loch, however we had to time it so that the image was taken when the sun went behind the clouds due to the high contrast. And of course as we waited I fell down a deep hole…at which point the Flame laughed her socks off. As you do!

 

Anyways we headed back home via the wine shop and stocked up on some goodies and had some lunch.

The next day we headed out to the studio where Ivory Flame preformed like a star to every photographer that booked her. And I got some time too.

I had been to Edinburgh recently and found  a classic 1980s dress and ripped out the shoulder pads etc etc…the idea being to just wear it very loosely, the colour would match the sofa in the studio….

 

Then we ditched the dress for some nude work….

 

 

Then the same but with monochrome in mind…

 

 

Then some lingerie on the sofa……its not often I do lingerie and I should really do more in the future….

 

/

Then for a change of scene we did some creative portraits using clam lighting, with a mixture of nude and lingerie…..and an interesting use of the wind machine.

 

 

And then finally…the Red Kimono…

 

Quite a heavy day really so after the studio we headed home for a well earned curry feast. As  is typical in Scotland the summer tends to be extremely changeable and while we were eating the heavens opened up with a torrential storm. Once we had sat down with very full tummies the rain stopped and the sky over the river had an amazing rainbow so we all dashed out to take pictures….the neighbours must have been well amused!!

The next day the Flame sped over to spend the day with Chrissie Red before doing more shoots whilst heading homewards.

All in all an grand adventure and a great weekend with Ivory Flame, there’s no point in me saying the usual ‘highly recommended’ stuff….she is famous and everyone knows her high reputation. Hopefully more adventures next year 🙂

 

 

 

Once upon a time in a land very far away (Isle of Wight) there lived a tiger, a wild tiger that liked to explore and see new places. So the tiger took a train to the wilderness of Scotland (Montrose) and why you ask…well that remains a mystery, as it was my friend Dionne Jones quite fancied some tiger shots and asked me to come along for a bit of a wheeze!

The tiger I picked up at the train station in Dundee was none other that TigerBelle, we had a couple of hours of driving as we were heading down to Dunbar area so we had a good old chinwag and chuckle on the way down, at the same time looking at the clouds wondering if the weather was going to hold out….it was a location shoot and the weather was being its usual unpredictable self. Anyway we got there and teamed up with Dionne and headed straight for the cafe!…as you do, gotta be done really!

Once we were fed and watered we headed off into the woods to find a tumble down cottage for our shooty shenanigans, sadly the house was being renovated and the owner was not too happy with us being there so we abandoned that idea and head off into the deepest darkest depths of the woods ie. 15m from the path. having a wee scout about we got down to getting some images bagged….it was a little risky so we tag teamed the shoot.

 

 

 

This tree stump was actually fairly high up….but no challenge  for a tiger…..

 

Just slightly further in we found another clearing and logs….

 

In the distance we saw a huge log stack and in front of it, in the light, was this much smaller log stack but perfect for our needs.

 

 

Dionne leads us along a path to a lovely park area and loch where there sat a stone building, I think she said it was used for storing shoes for ice curling, it was slightly riskier here as there were more people around so this first shot is behind the building…

 

 

Fabulous gritty stone work and handy windows…just made for tigers to sit in!

 

Just round the corner from stone hut was this canal waterway that fed into a water station before joining the loch…

Sadly by this time the area was getting  a bit busy and we called time on the shoot, however it was a good laugh and much fun. Dionne is bundle of fun and makes a good tag team partner for a joint shoot, and Tiger Belle is a lovely model who works her socks off and is good company and very adventurous…..as is the nature of tigers, highly recommended to other photographers and tiger hunters…oh wait…just make that photographers… 😉

 

 

Keira Lavelle arrived in the Spring armed with a suitcase of outfits and a strange bag of green tea, having worked with her before I knew the score…..’put the kettle on whilst I do my make up’

I jest of course but the green tea is real and probably some kind of alien substance, however I’m always up for a cuppa to get things going. As for shootiness I had bought a couple of things from a vintage clothes fare, however we started of with some simple nude work. The previous time we had worked with a white backdrop, this time it was black as the ace of spades, or as black as burnt toast, or as bla….you get the picture (or will do).

 

 

 

Then the red kimono…..

 

 

And some more ideas use the same kimono as a backdrop…….or floordrop as it were.

 

 

Then another piece I bought at the fare…a dark blue jacket…

 

 

Then another piece my wife bought….an Astrican coat, tricky lighting as the coat was as black as a….well I’ve been through that already…

Oh and some lingerie…..lingerie is something I lack on my port so it was good to get some class images done.

 

Some creative lighting in software for these images….

 

 

 

 

 

Some nudes on the couch to finish the shoot off.

 

 

This was one of those shoots where everything worked well…..and I must have to give credit where its due, mostly its down to Keira’s modelling ability and posing, it’s expressive and dramatic, sensual and raunchy without being over the top. It has an edginess that’s a great bonus in a model, she can pull it back if needed but deliver if required. Highly recommended and I hope we do a lot more shoots together, lovely person to work with and good company too. This combination makes an ideal team to produce something special, already looking forward to our next shoot.