Monthly Archives: November 2016

The Change

The Change


Phillip is not a happy man, for most of his life he has been at odds with himself, even growing up at a young age he was never really comfortable with life in general. Nothing seemed to fit like they did for other people, everyone seemed to be comfortable within themselves and went about their business in a normal fashion. For Philip he drifted through life unsatisfied with anything, he felt wrong, like he was living through someone else’s life, he was living a lie. Or that he was a living lie.

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His only anchor and shining star in his life was Donna, he loved her completely with his very fibre of being, everything else was gray and lifeless. Donna was the sole reason he kept on with his dull mixed up life, he found her absolutely wonderful and very much a light in his darkness.

Donna brings Philip a whisky….

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She put up with his mood swings and long periods of silence and depression, those times when he just couldn’t communicate his feelings in a comprehensive manner, and like most males he would retreat within himself until the feeling passed, and always Donna would be there waiting for him. Before he met her he had drifted from town to town and job to job finding it very hard to settle anywhere, always seemed to be searching for something. Something, just something that would make sense, something that would make him understand himself.
Gradually things got worse, he could hide so much anguish from Donna but deep inside he was breaking apart.



These last days he had come to realise that something must give, he looked at other people in his life, their life and daily routines. How they interacted with the world and how they coped. He had come to accept that we were all broken once, like porcelain statues ….chipped at the edges and cracks everywhere. It’s just life, the knocks and bumps from just living can knock the shine and crack the gloss from our porcelain existence. Sometimes we lose limbs or even our head but eventually we glue ourselves back together, though its never the same as before. We break, we chip, we crack and we all carry on as best we can but we are all broken. Philip wasn’t just about to break again, he is on the verge of crumbling away.


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Donna senses a deep sadness within her lover and tries to distract him in the best way she knows how……


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Donna notices that Philip needs a shave, Philip feels that as a rejection but lets Donna shave his chin.

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Donna resumes her amorous intentions, Philip responds in kind……



I Want You

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Donna slips out of her dress and moves to the next room expecting Philip to follow her. However Philip is disturbed to the core, the shaving incident was the last straw.


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Donna’s seduction has left him envious of her beauty and sensuality but equally the shaving had left him repulsed by his own body, he now knew what needed to be done but it was a gamble. He had to risk losing the only thing in his life that had any meaning to him, Donna.

The fear welled up inside of him, could he do it? Despite the fear Philip rolled the dice of life, he gambled……he changed!


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Phillipa disrobes from the male garb of her previous life, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. She has looks at her body and feels the new sensations that it brings.


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She slowly brings herself to look in the mirror, she inspects herself for a long time, with every touch and sensation she feels more complete and whole than she had ever done as a man.


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Phillipa has spent too long looking in the mirror, she hears Donna return to the sofa, obviously wondering where her lover went. This is it, it all comes down to this, she has risked everything for this moment. She attempts to add some makeup but its a disaster because its the first time she’s tried……


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She wipes it all off. She’s going to have to face Donna just as she is, a different shell but the same love.




Phillipa steals a dress and top from Donna’s stash and dresses as best she can.

Meanwhile Donna returns to the sofa wondering where her lover went, she sits and waits until her patience nearly runs out..


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Sadness fills Donna’s heart, she has always managed to lift Philips spirits before but this time the despair seemed so much more profound

Phillipa walks to the sofa…….


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Donna stares in astonishment but says nothing. Phillipa is fearful that Donna will walk away and that love will be gone forever. Donna is speechless as she inspects Phillipa in quiet expressionless contemplation

Donna  lifts the dress to see if the change is total…..


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Donna, filled with confusion and emotional turmoil, disrobes Phillipa.




Donna walks away…but turns and pulls Phillipa to follow her.




Donna says nothing but sits Phillipa down in front of the mirror, and with loving care Donna applies some makeup to Phillipa, both are too lost in the moment to speak.


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When finished Donna pulls Phillipa into a hug, but Phillipa is still unsure, is it a friends hug or sisterly hug or a lovers hug? This new body with its new sensation is almost overwhelming and on top of that her heart aches for confirmation of Donna’s continued love.

Donna leads Phillipa back to the sofa, she realises that this new woman knows nothing about the finer details of being female.

Donna shows Phillipa how to put on stockings and dress, and in doing so becomes increasingly used to the idea of the change.




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Donna lounges on the sofa but Phillipa is still unsure of Donna’s feelings, however Donna makes it abundantly clear that the change is welcome and she pulls Phillipa down on top of her.


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Phillip is not a happy man, but Phillipa is whole again. We are all broken but we can still fill our lives with love and live it to the full as best we can, though sometimes we need to change.


Philip/Phillipa played be Helen Stephens

Donna played by Donna Jackson

Concept and Photography by John McNairn


A Highland Adventure

One day on Purple Spurt I saw an unusual casting from Cheryl Elizabeth, she said she was happy to bus it up to Scotland overnight then do a shoot and bus it back home again. To be honest I couldn’t think of a worse thing to do but then I’m not keen on buses. It so happened that I had a my eye on a several locations up near Inverness way that I always wanted to do but it was impractical due to driving distances. However I thought that I could meet Cheryl up at Inverness and visit the locations on the way back to Dundee, I could combine some work the previous day, stay overnight, meet Cheryl then shoot….it seemed like a plan!

So we organised it for early September, and come the day before the shoot I travelled up, did a bit of work, stayed overnight at the Kingsmill Hotel…….which was horredously expensive and I got food poisoning there. Off to a fine start!

The next day it was wet and rather gray in the typical Scottish shitty weather kinda way, it rained and rained then at the last hour before picking up Cheryl it stopped and promised to clear up a bit. I wasn’t picking Cheryl up til 11:30 which meant that it was going to be a bit of rushed shoot but I knew I’d get at least two of the locations done and that was the main thing.

I did promised to meet Cheryl at the bus station in a pink onesie but I have to say I declined to follow through on that one! I’m sure she was very disappointed about that when I met her 😉

Anyways we met up, loaded up the car and headed off to Tescos for munchables and water, then scooted of to the first location. Now normally the road to the Loch Ruthven is quite picturesque but today it was completely shrouded in cloud, the mountains and cliff faces had completely disappeared. And as this was Cheryl’s first trip to Scotland I gave her a loan of a camera and landscape lens so she could take shots as well, because we all know the scenery is stunning, erm except today. On the way the clouds started to lift a little over the lochs and the views were getting a little mysterious, and as if by magic when we got to the first location the scene was perfect.



But the main reason for this location is that the loch had small sandy beaches and…boats…


The other bonus was that it was warm….so we headed off to the other side of the loch to another little boat house and boat.


Then just round the corner was another little sandy beach…

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Now  Loch Ruthven is a bird sanctuary and has a bird hide which is normally quiet on occasions, due to the weather and the time of day I reckoned it would be fairly devoid of people. Except that it wasn’t and poor Cheryl got caught by passersby, however they were quite open minded and shouted compliments. I thought there’s bound to be more people coming, perhaps now is a good time to scuttle off to the next location….

So we jump in the car and zoom off to Suidhe Viewpoint, by the time we got there the clouds had lifted and the air was very still. If was a little bit a of hill climb, a gentle slope and well worn path…..a path from which we would deviant for privacy reasons and for scenic views.

It’s not long before the path levels out into a rugged plateau, which is handy but also a tad boggy.

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Moving onto other rocks and scenes….with lots of ‘poky bum sticks’ as Cheryl called them. In other words last years heather

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More scenes with rocks…and poky bum sticks….



Moving on to a cliff edge…….



Nearly at the end of the path we came across two wild stags grazing just below us….we stopped to take some pictures.


At the end of the path we had to rush a little as time was marching on and so were some people heading our way….but we managed to bag some images at the summit.

With time marching we had to rush back down to the car and drive all of 5 minutes to the nearest loch for the next location which was slightly tricky to get to once we were out of the car.

By this time it really was time to get going, besides, we were getting eaten alive by super angry midges!…..before we left I managed to get this portrait which I softened to match the sunlight.


There was now a 3 hour drive back home as Cheryl had to get the 20:30 bus back home from Dundee. but it gave us a huge operchancity to have in depth conversations and get to know each other. The car drive home was a bit of a marathon but I had some great company and I have to say…..what a lovely person Cheryl is, just one of the nicest persons you’d ever want to meet. Apart from getting stonkingly good images I had a fabulous time with a fabulous person, what more could you ask from an adventure in the Highlands. Hopefully more adventures at another time 🙂


The Return of the Diaz

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away…..

There happened upon a chance to work with Helen Diaz again and this being the end of summer it was a last gasp opportunity to work on the beach. I partnered up with Dionne again, which is always a pleasure, and we booked 2 hours in the studio and 2 hours on the beach with Helen. Dionne brought some lovely lace outfits to use and we soon got to work and bagged some lovely images from the very start.



A quick change into some ballet practise shoes and some material….

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Then something a bit more creative in terms of angles and lighting…..


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After a quick cuppa tea and light changes, we did something a little darker and moodier…

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Then before you know it…it’s time to head to the beach, but first …another cuppa tea!

I dont often shoot at the beach on a weekend because it can be quite busy, at Tentsmuir the beach seems to split at the car park. Families and such tend to go to the left and the right side is usually quiet, possibly because there is an unofficial nudist section quite far down there, so the rumours goes anyway. Needless to say we went to the right where it was a bit quieter.

We gave Helen a see thru tattered dress thing, which I really must stop using as its been used to death now.


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We had to wait a little while before doing any full nude shoots because there was a young family approaching along the shoreline…once they got closer I think they sussed out our intent and scuttle off in the opposite direction….I’m sure pretty sure Helen didn’t scare them off by whooping madly about the surf, well fairly sure….ok maybe a little bit.  Once the coast was clear.


Sadly time ran out and we headed back to the car and I’m sure Helen carried nearly half beach in her large socks and a handful of sea shells in her pockets…just for fun 🙂

Well another great adventure in photography, its always a madcap fun time with Helen, and with Dionne. Hopefully more beach adventures next year!