Penny moves through the abandoned buildings near the seedier side of town until she gets to her intended destination, a small building tucked away from the main street. The early morning sun is weak and casts a limp shadow that seems to struggle to waken to the dawn light. The wooden entrance is hidden mostly from view but even still she can’t help but look around before entering the building, the trepidation of what is to come starts early this time and her hand almost trembles on the door handle.

 

She comes regularly to the door, always early before anyone is up and about to see. The visits are hard to resist, each time she comes here its a new adventure and often more daring that the last but that’s why she comes and besides she can afford it. The services provided by the occupant are not cheap but they are exquisite in their escapism and she cannot refuse her addiction, it gives her a release and a thrill that is intoxicating. Armed with cash she holds her breath as she approaches Sue Linn, the charisma of Sue fills the room like a drug filled aroma, she could almost breathe it in.

Sue sits waiting for Penny knowing that as usual this would be a bitter sweet appointment. Penny had phoned yesterday asking for her usual early slot, Sue did not refuse but instead welcomed it. Of all the guests that were welcomed here Penny was the only one that she had any real feelings for, more than friendship or any other simplistic bonding, Sue was infatuated by Penny yet she knew that her sentiments were not returned. To Penny this was a pleasant business arrangement but to Sue this was so much more. Yes she needed the money and if she could do without it and have Penny forever then she would.

 

Sue Linn was good, very good and she knew exactly what Penny craved for, and again she would provide it with pleasure. She would gave uncertainty and danger, she took away control and safety, hurling her partner into a sense of heightened anticipation. Slowly and invitingly to start with before gradually taking control.

Once the invitation is accepted Sue gradually takes control…..

 

….and Penny surrenders.

Sue prepares for the next phase, she understands Penny’s needs, it’s in the thrill of the danger, of giving over to the unknown and being unable and unwilling to prevent whatever happens next. For Penny the release of yielding over to someone else is exciting and the thrill of not knowing what is to come causes her to quicken her breath, the unseen future and the unpredictability of Sue’s inflictions. Penny’s excitement courses through her yet has a stupefying affect, it renders her compliant and wanton.

Sue applies some necessary steps……

 

Penny feels the needle puncture the skin, forceful and deliberate, like an unwanted lover. The sting is all she concentrates on, she relishes the sensation, a small compensation for the intrusion of its liquid content. The needle slides its full length into her flesh and the plunger pushes out the hated but life enhancing drug, the pain aids her in fending off the revulsion she feels for the situation, she can cope if she lets the pain envelop her…..this addiction and foreign invasion of her person.

Sue knows that Penny is lost, caught up in her escape and now is the time to heighten the thrill, increase the perceived danger and push her to the limits.

 

For some fear and perilous vulnerability…

 

Penny can feel the knife’s edge dig into her flesh just under her breast, enough to cut but not enough to draw blood, Sue slides the knife along as it’s scores the skin. Penny dares not move, but with disbelief and anticipation she sees Sue lower the knife’s aim….

 

Penny gasps with panic and excitement, her ragged breath causes her to feel faint and her body goes limp in her bonds.

 

At this point the reader is left to imagine what happens next…..

However a little later, things return to more tender and intimate moments….a little water on the oil to smooth and cool.

 

Sue revels in the caresses and feel of Penny in her arms, just the smell and warm of her sends Sue into a state of complete happiness, if only it would last…this compulsion and need for Penny feeds her infatuation, it haunts her at night and invades her dreams.

For Sue this is her time, a chance to play and embrace…..to imagine it would last beyond these four walls…..

 

But sadly time runs out all too soon for Sue and Penny, this small escape from the injustices and aches of reality must come to an end, at least for a while. The morning has worn on and the world has already awoken, play must stop and give way to the dreary drag of work and normal life….both do not want it to stop, they have yielded to their own private addictions and demons. The afterglow will only endure for a short time, after that the bitterness and self loathing will conquer until the next time.

 

For Sue letting go is difficult when it comes to Penny, there is never enough time. Her addiction is more subtle than Penny’s for her addiction is Penny.

 

Penny is practical now, her addiction sated by her need for danger and unpredictable excitement, the lust for unexpected pain and the familiar needle. The drugs are not the addiction, that is a constant dependency that only comes from in Sue Linn. And while Sue’s addiction is Penny, her dependency comes from Penny’s.

And as Penny leaves with the promise of a return visit, Sue whispers to herself …. Goodbye my Love.

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Addiction and Dependency – Written and Photographed by John McNairn

Modelled and acted by Artemis Fauna and Chrissie Red

Ok so I already posted a blog about Ivory Flame’s visit however that was a story, so I decided to blog about the shoot and thrust upon you all some different images that were not in the story.

I already had the idea of the Sea Priestess before Ivory Flame arrived but I had various endings in mind. So anyway off we went to the beach, it was a stormy day and on the chilly side but not quite cold enough for a jacket even though the wind was cool. We parked the car and ambled through the forest to the shoreline to check out the viability of nude work and where best to shoot. We looked, we saw and we headed back to the car for the gear….and that’s when it happened!!… I was molested by a stupid dog which mauled my jumper and grabbed hold of my arm, fortunately it was a large young dog and it was trying to play, however I was on the point of retaliation when it ran off…. one jersey ruined. And not a word of apology from the owner, seriously badly trained…had I been a small child I could have been traumatized.

Isn’t it weird the things that happen on shoots?..or is it just me?! Anyway we got the gear and headed of to the shoreline and Ivory Flame worked her magic on the images.

 

Next we headed over to the sand dunes to get a little relief from the wind.

 

 

By this time a nasty looking rain cloud sneaked over so we headed back to the car for coffee and snacks…..see I try to look after models when they work with me, ok sometimes they get cold and wet but….I bring quality snacks. Once the rain went off the sun came out so we did a few shots in the trees.

 

 

Then we headed back out as Audrey and Vron turned up for their 4 hours slot, afterwards we went back out into the sea. Sadly by this time the weather turned horrible, it rained and went cold, so speed was the order of the day. But just before that there is a mental image of the girls huddled round a brolly while I dragged a heavy log across the sand, I must admit they looked soggy and miserable. But!!…….skin is waterproof!…mostly….lol. So Ivory Flame and I braved the sea for the final shots for the story….yes dear blog readers, I had stripped to underwear and got into the water too, it was the only way to get the right angle. The final shots were all done in less than 10 minutes, we were back out and dried off as best we could in the rain.

 

 

 

It was a long drag back to the car, especially for Vron as she had lugged around a huge suitcase of props….I felt sorry for her and helped lug it back, I somehow feel she wont be using that again on a shoot. Back home in time for roast lamb, red wine and chocolate pudding! just what you need when you been cold and wet!

Ivory Flame did a fantastic job at the character of Rhiannon, I deliberately didn’t tell her all the story, I just said that she needed to sacrifice herself to the sea. She was so good I was forced to give her some Scottish tablet … ~shock horror scandal~